Totally UNrelated BUTT a GOOD reading anyway

Sometimes you just want to see things a little differently. Sometimes you want to see stuff that's not really there. It happens so often that some people make careers out of it, like that guy who wrote "He's just not that into you." I haven't read the book, I just read about him in the Inquirer, and I got the impression that his book was such a hit simply because *hurrah hurrah* here was a man who told it like it is, who would save thousands, nay, millions! of women from making asses out of themselves.

But, jeez, I bet every woman's girl friends tell her the same banana every time she gets duped. Note that I said duped, not "dumped." One letter makes all the difference. "Dumped" implies the presence of a dumper, and a dumpee; it implies a coordination of both parties, to communicate in some kind of form to relay these feelings. Whereas "duped" just means, hell, for a moment there I kind of thought this was something, but apparently it's nothing, and hahaha sorry to have wasted everyone's time...

Take, for example, the case of Perry Ellis, this girl I knew from high school. She goes to her high school reunion, ends up drunk in a classmate's house, makes out with some cute random ex classmate, and hold hands on the way to Jollibee the next day. A week later, she gets drunk again in the same house, and calls up random ex classmate and yells at him on the phone. "Ano ba talaga?!" (of course, the answer, she knew, was nothing), she says, and proceeds to throw up on the newly manicured lawn. Upon waking up sober the next few days, embarrassed and feeling self-righteous (possibly the world's worst combination), she tries to call ex classmate to no avail. He cancels her calls, doesn't answer her texts. But here's the thing: she just wanted to apologize. Granted, the fact that she tried to call him up thrice a day probably didn't improve her chances of ex classmate wanting a straightening out of stories, but if he'd listened, she probably would just have said sorry.

You might say, well, there was no need to apologize; such sordid experiences are best forgotten. True, yes. But random ex classmate was also sort of a friend; they did share birthday greetings and know each other's love life updates. So she just wanted to make sure everything was cool.

So. Both parties were duped there. But hey, guess what, everyone survived. Because everyone knew, the answer to that rabid question, that mind-boggler, "Ano ba talaga?!", is "Wala lang."

And take this other story, that of this friend of a friend, who is thrilled with the idea of being brought home after school by this other guy who has a girlfriend. Girlfriend doesn't know because she goes to a different school, and the guy doesn't mind because both he and the girl live in the same area. The guy is just being really nice, and being a gentleman, and it's so easy to misinterpret that as something, especially since there are so many few guys who have as pure intentions as he does. And he really doesn't make anything out of it; it's just something nice that he can do for a classmate, right?

But my friend of a friend, smitten and giddy with the idea of such kindness existing in the world, wants to think there's something there, an actual reason why he's going out of his way to be nice. But, hey, let's face it; there's nothing there. The guy probably loves his girlfriend like madness. Everything is fluid and ambiguous. Infatuation is so easy to acquire. And just as easy to dispose of. It's so easy to accidentally dupe someone. It's equally as easy to lead yourself into being duped.

But the hard part, of course, is that until someone comes up to you to shake you into reason, to dig you out of a hole you probably feel like you want to be buried in, you don't really understand the logic of it. But it's there. The probability of misinterpretation is staggering. One side just wants to be loved, the other side probably just wishes it had never happened. But, you know, everyone wakes up sober the next day anyway, and no matter how hard you pretend, you always remember what happened the night before. You know, in the pit of your stomach, if it's something. And when you know it's nothing, it's not worth it to try to vomit up air.

Because, you know, sh*t happens to everybody. And it sure sucks, but sometimes things just aren't what they seem. It's nice to have a little crush, it's probably healthy for everyone. But sometimes that's all that it can be. And it may not be much, but it'll spare you the drinking binges, the crying, the embarrassing texts. And you'll have this sort of pristine memory. Which, dammit, sounds boring as hell.

So I guess what I'm tring to say is, go ahead! Make an ass out of yourself! Learn from it! And learn when not to do it. Because if we never make asses out of ourselves at least once in our lives, then we'll never learn to wipe our own sh*t.


Source:
In a Rage : Making Love out of Nothing At All
Contributed by caravaggio (Edited by blue_kuko)
Sunday, October 30, 2005 @ 12:00:10 AM

Learning TAGALOG

Oftentimes I wonder, which language should we introduced first to Zidane. Shall it be English? well... that should be a no brainer since we are living outside of our "inang bayan". BUT I want my son to learn our native language and most of all our National Language - TAGALOG.

TAGALOG is one of the major languages spoken in the Philippines, mostly by people from the Tagalog regions in the main island of Luzon. It is the lingua franca in Metro Manila, the national capital region of the country. It also serves as a base for Filipino, one of the two official languages of the Philippines (along with English). Read this interesting essay on the metamorphosis of Filipino as national language.

The TAGALOG language has very strong affinity with Malay languages (Bahasa Indonesia/Malay). However, due to more than 300 years of Spanish colonial rule over the Philippines, the language has incorporated a significant number of Spanish words and expressions. The language also includes words and phrases that are rooted in English and Chinese.

According to the 1990 and 2000 United States Census, TAGALOG is the second most commonly-spoken Asian language (after Chinese) in the United States, and the sixth non-English language spoken in America. TAGALOG is the lingua franca of Filipinos anywhere in the world. Most Southeast Asian scholars use TAGALOG as the tool for research in the Philippines. It is also the language of major works in literature and that of Philippine films and songs.

Here are some links I had compiled in quest of learning TAGALOG:

• TAGALOG for Kids
  

LOSERS in a POWER struggle

Who loses in a power struggle? EVERYBODY!

Parents feel helpless and useless because they can't control their child. If the power struggle occurs in public the parent feels the whole world is witnessing their parental inadequacy. And the child does not feel triumphant. Instead the child feels a bit anxious. Kids are smart; they know they're not big enough to rule the world! An anxious kid may misbehave to get rid of the anxious feelings.

Power struggles will occur in every family at least some of the time.

Why? Every human being comes into this world wanting to win all the time. We have to learn how to negotiate, compromise, postpone, defer, etc. But these are all grownup ways. Kids throw a fit because it's all they know how to do.

There are two developmental stages when power struggles are most apt to occur, interestingly enough for the same reason. The toddler and the teen either tantrum or fight with the parents for the same reason: they are intent on developing autonomy or independence. They feel as though their lives depend on winning and in one sense they are right. If they do not develop this autonomy or independence they cannot go on to the next developmental stage. The toddler has to become a child, the teen an adult and they have to test out how far they can go.

Unfortunately, parents may cause or prolong power struggles by the way they parent. And conversely, the savvy parent can prevent most power struggles. How?

• BE AN IN-CHARGE PARENT. A parent who accepts his or her role as family-person-in-charge, who doesn't feel guilty bossing a child who needs to be bossed, who can tolerate temporary unhappiness in a child who needs to follow the rules, who understands the importance to the child of having a strong parent - this is a parent savvy enough to prevent many power struggles because the child knows who is in charge.
• PICK YOUR BATTLES. Be willing and able to overlook and not sweat the small stuff. But be in-charge for the important issues like safety, health, no hitting.
• GIVE YOUR CHILD CHOICES WHENEVER YOU CAN. This helps the child develop that important sense of autonomy.
• When something is NON-NEGOTIABLE, SAY SO AND MEAN IT.
• AVOID/PREVENT FATIGUE, HUNGER, and other uncomfortable states. Don't take a tired kid shopping for example.
  

Of course there will still be melt-downs. Both you and your kid are human and there will be times when what you want and what your child wants are diametrically opposed. But you will be able to avoid most of the power struggles and your home will be relatively peaceful.

• Further reading on Parenting tips

Quest for Zidane's Playgroup

As far as I could remember, playgroup is just a bunch of kids running around the "kalsada" showing off their "kababata" that they are the future sprinter of "inang bayan". Every morning, every kid in our town eagerly awaits the time "nanay" allows him to go out and play. Returning home with either a bunch of scratches if not - for sure look very messed up "sipon sa nuo". BUT surely satisfied with his day activities with his "kababata". I remember my parents has to forced us to go home with them - and in most cases, "paluin pa" just to bring us home. That is how I remember how it was like in my early years.... and THAT my friend is absolutely FREE!
But these days, with the advancement of living, even these simple things cost a lot for parents. Whenever a toddler reach two year old, every parent has to go through these process when considering for a playgroup:

• location
• programs
  
• environment
• background of students who are currently enrolled
• fees

By this, I would like to share with fellow Pinoy parents who are currently residing in Singapore the links of what I had gathered:

• Apple Tree Playgroup
  
• Little School House
  
• Chatsworth Kindergarten
• Cherie Hearts